When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.

Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?

I live at the end of a dead end one way street. I don't know how I got there.

Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Is 'tired old cliché' one?