When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

The speed of time is one second per second.

Do the people in Australia call the rest of the world 'Up Over'?

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck. But my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

People think my friend George is weird because he wears sideburns...behind his ears. I think he's weird because he wears false teeth...with braces on them.

If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them