Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!

I was once arrested for resisting arrest.

I had my coat hangers spayed.

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"