Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.

It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"

I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.