I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done."

Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.

The speed of time is one second per second.

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.