I was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

I can't stop thinking like this.

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.