What I like about the jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.

Is 'tired old cliché' one?

One day, when I came home from work, I accidentally put my car key in the door of my apartment building. I turned it, and the whole building started up. So I drove it around. A policeman stopped me for going too fast. He said, "Where do you live?" I said, "Right here!" Then I drove my building onto the middle of a highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the hell out of my driveway.

When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.