Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
One day a guy tried to rob me on the street, and I had no money. So I charged him.
If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them
I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'