Sometimes I talk to myself in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.
Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.