I washed mud off of mud.

In hindsight, I realized I could see into the future. Which is kind of like having premonitions of flashbacks.

You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time.

I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates".

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."

I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.