I washed mud off of mud.

You know those things that you throw the twigs into and it spits them out? That's what I do. The branches are like life, and I throw them into my head and some of it comes out as humor.

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything toda

The older you get, the more you learn to see what you've been taught to see. When you're a kid, you see what's there.

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?