I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates".

When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if I had any firearms with me. I said, 'Well, what do you need?'

I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don't really remember what we talked about.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

The sun never sets on the British Empire. But it rises every morning. The sky must get awfully crowded.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.