If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote,' so that on my death bed, my last words could be 'end quote.'
I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends."
I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'