It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
It seems like we wake up and it's a race until you get to bed. It gets to you after a while and you think, 'What the hell am I doing?'
The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
If you can't hear me, it's because I'm in parentheses.
I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, "Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?" I said, "yes."