I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

My doctor told me I shouldn't work out until I'm in better shape. I told him, 'All right; don't send me a bill until I pay you.'

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.