I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.
Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.
For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.