I've always had to conquer fear when I'm on stage. Basically, I was and still am a very shy person. It's absolutely in conflict with what I do. But once I deliver the first joke I'm okay. It's like I'm out there all by myself just delivering my lines to nobody in particular without ever trying to notice the audience in front of me.

Do radioactive cats have eighteen half-lives?

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

43.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.

In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it.