I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.

So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it's like a circus in my head.

I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house.