I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?

To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.

My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.

Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.