I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me - and I didn't hear it.

I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don't accidentally walk through into another dimension.

I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

What do batteries run on?

I paint; I draw and paint - I've been doing that since I was in third grade, drawing realistically and then changing to abstract art. That was my first creative thing before guitar or comedy.