I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
Yesterday I told a chicken to cross the road. It said, "What for?"
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .
I'm a peripheral visionary.