I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

If you melt dry ice in a pool and go swimming, will you get wet?

I'm a peripheral visionary.

I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.