How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.

A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture. You don't have to go. You'll just be walking down the street and . . . ooooohhhhhh, that's much better.

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.