I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Smoking cures weight problems, eventually.

I'm seeing the world partially through the eyes of a kid. Not all the time. There's no black and white to it. But sometimes I'm seeing it like I'm 4.