I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.

always remember your unique, just like everone else

I saw a sign at a gas station. It said 'help wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'self service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?