I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.

I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

I'm so hyper. (said with a very dull voice>

I was arrested for lip-syncing karaoke.