I used to be an airline pilot. I got fired because I kept locking the keys in the plane. They caught me on an 80 foot stepladder with a coat hanger.
Steven WrightOfficer, I know I was going faster than 55MPH, but I wasn't going to be on the road an hour.
Steven WrightThe other day, I was walking my dog around my building . . . on the ledge. Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright