If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “lisp” to have an “s” in it?

If you melt dry ice in a pool and go swimming, will you get wet?