My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of times she tells me she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I know if I wasn't her son and she was flipping through the TV and saw me, she would just keep going.

I took a baby shower.

I am writing a book. So far I have the pages numbered.

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

I have a quantum car. Every time I look at the speedometer I get lost.

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?