OK, so what's the speed of dark?

I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?

People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's what I do.

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.