I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.
I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"
I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.