I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

What's another word for Thesaurus?

You know, the New Testament is pretty old. I think they should call them the Old Testament and the Most Recent Testament.

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?

You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world... perhaps you've seen it.