When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
Steven WrightImagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!
Steven WrightI'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.
Steven Wright