In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence.

I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

I was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.