Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery's dead?

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street.

I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.