Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'