You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don’t know what to feed it.

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

The best kind of friend is the kind you sit with, never say a word and walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you ever had.

always remember your unique, just like everone else

I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.

I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.