You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand?

Very rarely do I talk off the top of my head on stage. I'm not an improv guy. I'm a writer-guy who presents what he's written.

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?