You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.

I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.