Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.

Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.

I once locked my keys out of my car. I had to break out of my car with a coat hanger.

When I was a kid I had a friend who worked in a radio station. Whenever we walked under a bridge, you couldn't hear what he said.

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.