Because I don't believe everything I read.
I Xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.
To me, comedy is just twisting reality. It's commenting or observing or twisting life.
Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.
I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.
I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.