When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.'
Steven WrightI have a large sea shell collection which I keep scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen it.
Steven WrightI bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.
Steven Wright