I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."

Sometimes I... No, I don't.

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

I wish, when I was first born, the first thing I said was "Quote" so the last thing I said before I died would be "Unquote.

Clones are people two.