I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often, I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said 'cut it out'

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.