I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read"
The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
I have an inferiority complex, but it’s not a very good one.
If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
I just lost a buttonhole.