My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

I like to skate on the other side of the ice.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps