My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.

Imagine Oshkosh straitjackets for little insane children.

It's a fine night to have an evening.

Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.

Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?