Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

A cop stopped me for speeding/ He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing [mimes steering wheel]? This steers it'

They say you're not supposed to put metal in a microwave oven. They're right.

The speed of time is one second per second.

Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.