If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I have a fax machine with "fax waiting".
My aunt gave me a walkie-talkie for my birthday. She says if I'm good, she'll give me the other one next year.
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.
My secret to staying young... Having no sense of time.
My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of times she tells me she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I know if I wasn't her son and she was flipping through the TV and saw me, she would just keep going.