Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo. He got pretty good. He could go under a rug.

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as '4's'?

My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.

Half the people you know are below average.

Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."