Good jokes are gems. A good idea is hard to come by. I couldn't give them to someone else, even for money. It just wouldn't seem right.

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.

I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Black holes result from God dividing the universe by zero.

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.