Your honor, why would anyone in their right mind park in the passing lane?

You know, the New Testament is pretty old. I think they should call them the Old Testament and the Most Recent Testament.

I bought my brother some gift-wrap for Christmas. I took it to the gift wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping.

The speed of time is one second per second.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.