The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.

I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me - and I didn't hear it.

Do you have any toy train schedules?

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

I went to a garage sale. 'How much for the garage' 'It's not for sale.'

I have two pairs of reading glasses. One pair is for reading fiction, the other for non-fiction. I've read the Bible twice wearing each pair, and it's the same.

I saw a man with a wooden leg and a real foot.