Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I'm an idiot.

I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.

I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.

I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

I have all the emotions that everyone has; it just appears that I don't.

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.