How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?

I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

My school colors were clear. We used to say, 'I'm not naked, I'm in the band.

I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.