Imagine how weird phones would look if your mouth was nowhere near your ears.
I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
I didn't tell any of my friends that I wanted to be a comedian, because I was superstitious. I thought if I told people, it wouldn't happen. So I kept it all in my head for years and years.
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.