I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

I was born by Caesarian section . . . but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.

Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?'

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.

Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.

I’m a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I’ll forget.

I was always making my friends laugh but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.