I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

I'm standing behind a wall of jokes. You don't know about my personal life, my girlfriends, or what I do when I'm not on the road. There's this guy, this comedian, and this is how he thinks, but people really don't know anything about me.

It's a fine night to have an evening.

I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out.