If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.

I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."

I took a course in speed reading. Then I got Reader's Digest on microfilm. By the time I got the machine set up, I was done.

I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

I have not lost my mind - it's backed up on disk somewhere.