If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

If its tourist season, why cant we shoot them

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds amazing.

My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don't really remember what we talked about.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.