[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust anybody!

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing.

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?

I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?