I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.

I got a garage door opener. It can't close. Just open.

The other day I went to a tourist information booth and asked, 'Tell me about some of the people who were here last year.

You know how it is when you're reading a book and falling asleep, you're reading, reading... and all of a sudden you notice your eyes are closed? I'm like that all the time.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?

The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.

I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.