I'm used to seeing it, but it's weird having an Academy Award. You usually only see one of them on the TV show when they give them out, so it's kind of surreal to have one in your house.

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.

It usually helps me write by reading - somehow the reading gear in your head turns the writing gear.

I can't stop thinking like this.

Half the people you know are below average.

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.

Why are there five syllables in the word “monosyllabic”?