I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.

I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking,' but I don't have that much time.

I have a map of the United States... Actual size. It says, 'Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile.' I spent last summer folding it. I hardly ever unroll it. People ask me where I live, and I say, 'E6.

I washed mud off of mud.

My friend Winnie is a procrastinator. He didn't get his birth mark til he was eight years old.

Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity. If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick

I got a chain letter by fax. It's very simple. You just fax a dollar bill to everybody on the list.