I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby and say 'What are you doing here? You haven't worked a day in your life!'
When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
I went to a general store but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. She said, "You didn't borrow this." I said, " I will!"