I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.

When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.

I had amnesia once or twice.

My nephew has HDADHD. High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it's unbelievably clear.

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.

When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?