If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?

My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.

My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don't really remember what we talked about.

I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.

Because I don't believe everything I read.