Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit .

Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?

I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.

I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.

I wish the first word I ever said was the word "quote", so right before I die I could say "unquote".

The other day I ... no wait, that wasn't me.