Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.

I once tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building...I changed my mind at the last minute, so I just flipped over and landed on my feet. Two little kittens nearby saw what happened and one turns to the other and says, "See, that's how it's done."

I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.

I'm a peripheral visionary.

When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.

I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up. I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.