Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what it was.

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

A cop stopped me for speeding/ He said, 'Why were you going so fast?' I said, 'See this thing my foot is on? It's called an accelerator. When you push down on it, it sends more gas to the engine. The whole car just takes right off. And see this thing [mimes steering wheel]? This steers it'

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.